March 25, 2001

From: James
My break-up story

I dated a girl for 2 months. She was 25, and I was 18 (now 19.) First night I stayed at her place, we got into a big fight over me not saying "I love you." This was after us dating a week.

She punched me in the face "accidentally." I shoved her away, and she freaked out and said I had no right to shove her. She didn't apologize for hitting me. Then 30 minutes later we got drunk and had sex. From our very first date she talked about marriage, and asked me if I would marry her if I could.

On a trip to Jacksonville with our college newspaper we all get drunk, I pass out in a bed with our close friend. The g/f freaks. The next night she goes to a bar with a stranger and makes out with him. The next day we get back to town, she decides she wants to have sex in the woods by my house, in the broad daylight. Then as I'm performing oral sex, she gets up, and declares that I don't know how to make love to a woman. I flip and cuss her out, she then says she was just trying to "fire me up."

Okay like our friend would call me, the g/f would get pissed and tell that she was "her friend first," and compare the length of phone calls we had with the friend. By the way she often described fantasies about her, and speculated on seducing her. She would make me wear make-up in public. If I refused she would bitch me out, and break up with me. At the mall, I don't feel like getting a haircut, she storms away. I then spend 3 hours hunting for her. She found it funny.

On my birthday she bitched me out for having to get off the phone with her to blow out the candles on my cake.

Later as we her going to her house, she asked me to buy the pizza for my party.

One night I didn't want to have sex, she broke up with me and stormed off. She came back, seduced me gave me a blowjob, and I then performed oral sex on her car. 1 minute later she bitched at me for not being "enthusiastic enough."

(cars are notoriously hard to get off)

She always called me immature.
At Halloween she wanted to toilet paper a guy's house. I refused. She broke up with me.

Okay sorry for being so long. Lastly we have a fight over me not bitching out our teacher for "disrespecting" her. We go a week without talking, and then we meet up in the newspaper office. That night at school we made out, I went down, she then bitched me out for "being selfish" and didn't bother to take care of me. Then the friend I mentioned earlier and I get selected as co-editor of our college newspaper over her. She told me she hates me, and never wants to speak to me again. This was a week after she says that she always wanted me in her life.

The overwhelming question here is, "Why are you telling us this?"

Your letter goes a lot farther toward showing that you are a wimp willing to put up with a lot of abuse for occasional foreplay or sex than it does to demonstrate that the semi-girlfriend was any kind of "bitch" (though she sounds senseless, violent, and very unstable. Certainly no Heartless Bitch, which is why I assume you wrote us whinging about her). As with the women who write HBI, why do you think putting up with an abusive loser has anything to do with bitchiness (from either side?). Surely you didn't write to HBI expecting sympathy for going back to her over and over? This is dear fucking bon, not dear fucking Abby.

She was abusive, inconsistant, and broke up with you every time she didn't get her way, apparently. Why did YOU keep going back to her? After a certain point, it isn't about how bad she is, it's all about why are you lapping it up? You are apparently a very masochistic young man.

My advice is that you put up or shut up. Either choose more stable doms and stop going down on this woman every time she throws some abuse your way or put your best makeup on, submit properly and stop crying about it.

bon

p.s., how DO you perform oral sex on a car?