April 10, 2003
Two of the NICEST guys
Whiny Nicey Guy One:
I was reading through your "nice guy" topics. I didn't read through ALL of them yet, but I'm going to respond with what I have read so far. Of course, I'm going to be talking about myself when I talk about the "nice guys," because that's why I was there in the first place, I wanted to see why women don't like "nice guys." The typical thing that people were pointing out is that nice guys are insecure, "only feel happy when the love of their life is around," boring, or unattractive. I don't think of myself as insecure. Yes, everyone has some insecurities, and some have more than others. I do have my own share of insecurities, but it's nothing that makes me appear as a low life freak with no self esteem. I don't find myself boring. I can be the "life of the party," make people laugh, etc etc. I've been told many times that I have a really great sense of humor. I don't think I'm unattractive. Though it may sound cocky, I actually find myself attractive, and have heard of many girls say that I am attractive or "hott." Now, I don't want that to sound like I'm full of myself. I'm not. I do have confidence, but I'm not overconfident. I'm just letting you know that I don't sit here and talk about how great I am when I talk to a girl. heh. Yes, I am the guy that likes to help girls out. I'm always that person that a girl comes running to, need a shoulder to cry on, etc etc I don't think I'm depressive or unassertive.
Yet, for some reason, I'm always the guy that a girl will say is "just a friend." A lot of the times that means "eeww, he's ugly. I couldn't ever picture myself in bed with him! yuck!" and is just said to be a nicer way of rejecting the guy. But I really don't think that's the situation. Recently I've met a girl (who I already knew thought I was attractive) and I talked to her for 3 1/2 hours straight. We talked about in depth things, she told me about her different problems and such, and also talked about other things. Now this might sound good that she feels like she can just open up to me the first night talking to me, but, she said that first night that she viewed me as "just a friend!"
The only real problem that I could see is that I'm too nice or too "sweet." (my ex told me that before). I don't understand that. I would love to have a nice and sweet girl... someone who listens to my problems, will tell me that she loves me, what she loves about me, etc etc. (of course, they can't overdo it!). I don't see what's unattractive about that? I don't compliment them in hopes that they will like me for it. I'm not "there for them" in hopes that they'll like me. I do it because I like to. If I find a girl to have pretty eyes or nice hair, then I'm going to tell them. If I want to listen to a girls problems, then I'm going to. But is this what's making me give off a "just a friend" vibe? And really, what can I do about that? Or are there other possibilities for the "just a friend" attitude?
Sad, Dejected, Bummin'
Someone Doesn't Know the meaning To NICE GUYS!!!
While a couple of the statements ring slightly true, It's because A nice Guy has his own life, and would like a WOMAN that has her own life.
A nice Guy, Wants an intelligent Woman, so he can have a meaningful conversation with. A Nice Guy cares not Who makes more money, only if you and him are getting fulfilled and enjoy you work.
A Nice Guy, Doesn't Force a woman to do what she doesn't want to do, so why should he be forced??? When He loves A Woman He loves With his Entire Body Heart and Soul. He knows right away if you meed this standard, and doesn't Date Girls or Bitches that claim to be the above. A nice Guy Has lots of female friends and is totally able to interact with a person not
able to be his match.
The tricky part is his reaction to a girl that is, his match, He has spent so much time looking, that he sometimes forgets that he has to actually interact with this Woman. Leading to overaction and alienation.
Which can turn a nice Woman into a BITCH.
Why these things happen I don't know???
Sir Whole of the Hearted Soul