November 4, 2001
I'm an expat American man living in Japan. I'm married to a typical
Japanese woman ie , she keeps her opinions to herself. Yeah right.
We have 3 children. I have seriously dated five American Girls and Women from
6 months up to about three years. And casually dated about ten Girls and
ladies in my 26 yrs of living in the States(11 in Japan. I'm 37) before
I found your site through a link and thought to give it a look. After
reading through it I was wondering why you are so angry at men. I have had
a few very bad experiences with women but I don't hold them responsible,
rather I blame myself for wanting from them what they could not deliver.
You get a good # of hits, this is probably due to the misleading name. But
I must admit, it works. It should read: "Really pissed off Western women
who don't know how to get what they want or don't know".
I run my own business as well as help arrange, prepare and witness American
style Christian weddings for Japanese couples. We do this through my church
and one of the things we do is counsel young couples about what marriage
means in Christianity and how it pertains to todays world.
Your site says "International" but I think that is a little off. While living in the
States I thought I understood women at least a little, and all the angry
things you say in your index page confirmed what I thought I knew, but I
think American women would be better off trying to get what they want by
being a bit less aggressive about it. I now know that I don't know women
any better than I know anyone else, men or women, its just that men and
women are totally different.
The typical opinion of Japanese women is that they are docile, quite,
dutiful servants of their husbands. But nothing could be further from the
truth. Most Japanese women are very strong, motivated people who know how to
get what they want.
There is a saying in Japanese, it goes
" Teishu, genki-de, rusuu ga ii. " It means that a good husband is healthy,
hardworking and never home. So he provides a lot of money for his family
but doesn't come home to cause them trouble. This is the extreme and is
taken as a joke, but it illustrates the honesty of relationships in the
Both people have to to willing to give more than they take in a
relationship, but usually that is impossible.
You can just do the best you
can. There is no such thing as a simple one sided argument and I think that
your harsh words and use of profanity, is funny but misguided.
I dated a beautiful, blond blew ( Bon note: *ahem*) eyed, intelligent Amercan girl in college
for four years, she thought that her greatest asset was between her legs,
she was wrong, thats why I couldn't stay with her any longer but also the
reason I stayed for as long as I did. I know that is a very harsh thing to
say, but its the truth.
And...... the fact that I came home from work one
night early and she was in bed a very handsome Tom Cruise look-alike, may
also have been a factor.
But recently I heard that she is on her fourth
husband while I am still with my first. My wife said that I was the first
man she ever slept with, I dont really believe its true but she seems to be
happy with the story so who am I to force the issue?
Our twelve year
anniversary is next month and thats enough. Lust is awesome in a
relationship, but add love and respect and it will be better.
(To your higher power): Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the