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But I'M NOT BITTER...
The Goddess of battle, strife, and destruction explains it all for you
by

December 11, 2000

Well, the less said about that particular experience, the better. The landlady turned out to be a deranged psycho with the hearing of a bat – she called several times to ask if I could do without my morning shower, as it tended to wake her up. Riggggghhhhhht.

I wound up giving notice a mere 3 days after I moved in – the place was way too depressing. I kept finding interesting violations of the Building Code and she was a total bitch (and not in a good way either). I swiftly decided to cut my losses and get the hell out of there. Despite how much I hate moving, and how much more I hate looking for a place, I managed to score one of the truly great Toronto apartments. Moving day was relatively painless, as I had 4 guys helping me (and the Aussies didn't even stay for a beer!). The only mishap involved a jug of bleach and my new black couch, but we'll draw a veil over that painful episode and move on. It could have been much worse.

It ain't cheap -- $1,200.00 per month, but worth every penny. Three bedrooms, hardwood floors throughout, private deck, no neighbours and quite centrally located. I totally lucked into it and even though it's way bigger (about 1000 square feet) than I need and more money than I wanted to spend, I couldn't be happier. I can blare my music until the walls shake, and nobody is around to complain. Bliss. I hear the Old Fella ™ is quite content in his new home as well, though I've never seen it.

Unfortunately, I also couldn't be lazier. I've been putting in killer hours at work (over 60 last week) and by the time I get home, all I can do is sit stunned on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. This means that it took me about 3 weeks to get the blinds up.

I probably would have left it even longer, were it not for the fact that I discovered that I'd been inadvertently flashing the guy across the street for some time. I happened to glance up one day on my way to the bath and saw this person standing a window watching my impromptu performance (I was dancing around to the stereo) with every appearance of absorption, all the while shaking hands with the unemployed, if you know what I mean. Not exactly how I'd planned to meet the neighbours, but what can you do? It didn't look like he minded in the least, and in fact, he can occasionally be glimpsed standing forlornly at his window, gazing across the street with a hopeful look on his face.

Rumour has it that this is the same young man who haunts my landlady's Christian bookstore . He has apparently confided to her that his goal is to keep himself "pure" and for that reason, has decided to "remain a virgin".

I may be a bit skeptical, but my knowledge of opposite sex has led me to conclude that no man "decides" to remain a virgin. As a wise man once observed, women decide it for him.

Well kids, that's all for now. Toronto's first major snowstorm is on the way, with 25-30 cm expected in a 12 hour period and I want to get home before the entire city shuts down.

Till next time.

Morrigan

 



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