Taking a Chance?
Mar 12, 2007
itís the imminent arrival of spring, but Iíve just noticed that many of the men
I meet during my day are hot.
in particular. And itís not only his
hotness I admire. I
like this guy.† I respect
him.† Heís smart (so smart in fact that
the nickname used to describe him is "Aristotle"), heís funny, heís kind, heís
single, heís straight, heís not hard on the eyes - I could go on.† He seems to find me not entirely repugnant, at
least on a platonic level.
apart from some long conversations, thatís all she wrote.† Admittedly, heís a captive audience (kind of
in a physical sense but without the whips and chains) and that always changes
aside the unknowable issue of his consent, I come across this guy in the course
of my business day and I do not shit where I eat.†
say itís a manís world and girls, they ainít lying.†† The double standard is alive and well and this should be news to
nobody.† A man could get away with
having an affair with a coworker and come out unscathed, no problem.† In fact, heíd probably be getting high-fives
from the other guys.
woman canít, not if she wants to retain her professional credibility.† I work mostly with men and every single
one of them is an Alpha Male.† Can
you imagine what I have to deal with?†
These guys gossip like schoolgirls and any word of impropriety on my
part would guarantee me overnight fame throughout the city - their grapevine is
second to none.
unfortunate and politically lamentable as this is, it is a certainty.††† I think this guy would keep his mouth
shut, but thereís no way it would stay quiet for long notwithstanding.† Itís right on the border of "worth the risk"
but I donít make such obviously stupid mistakes with my career.† This could blow up in my face.† Iíve worked too hard to allow that to
Iíve ruled it out.† (Which has the happy
consequence of making the question of his consent a moot one.)
it was surprisingly difficult to do.
Perhaps Iíve lived in this manís world for so long that
Iím beginning to think like one.†††
Although Iím not proud of it, my thought process went something like
...Hmmm.† On the one
hand, this would be a really stupid thing to do.† It could conceivably ruin my career.
On the other hand... heís smoking hot.
Clearly, the first thought has far more to recommend it
than the second, but it took considerable persuasion and preternatural focus
before I convinced myself of that.††
And then I had an epiphany:† this must be what itís like for guys to struggle to think
with their big head when their little one is hogging all of the blood.† Itís exhausting.† I canít imagine what 24/7 of it must be
Itís the oddest thing: rational thought abandons you and
thereís a big porn movie playing in your head.†
You are compelled to picture people naked.†† With increasing frequency, you imagine yourself interacting with
them in some fashion -- friends, coworkers, complete strangers - itís all
terribly distracting.† Under these
circumstances, forming a coherent sentence is an achievement akin to splitting
While Iíll spare you the agonies of what has turned out to
be an ongoing struggle, letís just say that shortly after I met him, I began to
grind my teeth in my sleep.† Probably
just a coincidence.
Hopefully Iíve been fairly subtle about the lust thing
(eyes rolling) - oh letís face it:† Iím
surprised the pheromones havenít suffocated him.
And yet he hasnít responded.
Could it be that all of this is only happening in my own
head?† (Has winter really been that
long?)† Is it possible that he only
wants to be my friend?
It gets worse.
I could really fall for this guy.
I talked it over with a male friend I have in my old city,
a useful and truthful source.
I was fortunate enough to have another such mole years ago
and wow, the stuff you can learn.† ALL
women need a man like this.† (His take
on the above:† "Get real -- guys never
just want to be friends.† Weíre always
trying to get into your pants.† Itís the
Here is his reply to my current dilemma.† Aside from its refreshing candour and pithy
tone, even I have to admit that he has a point:
If you like the guy that much then GO OUT WITH HIM!
Lots of men do manage to conduct themselves with discretion and honour. You just seem to gravitate to the dangerous ones
. Probably so you can keep yourself in a constant state of isolation, which you perceive
If he asks you out, friggin go for it. You don't have to maul him right out of the gate. If you don't DO anything, he will have nothing to report. No doubt if he starts running his mouth, it will get
back to you and you can say with a clear conscience that you did absolutely SFA. Stop over thinking.
Take a GD risk, will ya?
Besides, how has being a prude helped your career thus far?
Who gives a crap if someone knows you are getting railed? That is what
people do. They have sex. They have fun. It only becomes a point of shame if you make it so.
I hope you go for it and take a chance with the guy.
Keep me posted.
The subtext?† "Face
your biggest fear, or itís back to the Tower with you."
Itís bloody masterful.†