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Get a Babysitter!

(Nov 5, 2007)

by Karen Rodenbecker

 

To those of you out there who have decided that your young children are indispensable accessories, on par with "it" bags, freakishly large sunglasses, and i-pods, and therefore that these children should accompany you each and every minute of the goddamn day, WAKE THE FUCK UP! Your child is not this year's rat dog to be toted about for salespeople to coo over and cuddle while you sip a latte and shop the day away. Toddlers require almost constant supervision and structure in their lives. They need down-time, nap-time, story-time, not to mention kid-food-time, and most of this IS SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE OR UNAVAILABLE in adult-centered places, like damn near every place you insist on dragging your screaming, over-stimulated, flailing children.

Who am I to dispense such observations? Am I a mother, a social worker, a child psychologist? No, Iım the woman who has to listen to your child caterwaul at the symphony, who sees them smearing their hands on clothes at the boutique, and who has even stopped them from toddling into a restaurant kitchen when you were too busy lunching with your friends to watch them.

Do you have any idea the number of times your unsupervised toddlers have wandered up to me in parks, coffee shops, and even in galleries looking for the attention and structure you are not giving them? If I were a black market baby broker, I would be rich.

Let me make this clear: I do not fault your children for seeking attention and stimulation; however, I DO FAULT YOU FOR HAVING THE UNMITIGATED GALL TO ASSUME THAT STRANGERS WILL FIND YOUR CHILDREN AMUSING AND WILL KEEP AN EYE ON THEM. Salesclerks, waiters, and those of us sans children ARE NOT YOUR FREE BABYSITTERS!

In the past I have tolerated your neglect and been kind towards your "free-rage" toddlers because it is not their fault that their mothers are vain, self-absorbed idiots. And yes, I can appreciate that childcare is expensive, and yes, I understand that it is good for children to engage with the larger world, and yes, I can even understand that sometimes you really do need to do "something grown-up" or you will go crazy. But here is what else I understand: THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKE ALL THIS INTO ACCOUNT WHEN YOU DECIDED TO BREED.

Now, instead of being an adult and putting your childrenıs needs first, not to mention showing some respect for the rest of the world, you simply drag them everywhere you used to go, yakking into your cell the whole way that "being a parent hasnıt really changed anything" for you. I concur. I can imagine that you were probably just as self-absorbed and inconsiderate before you had children. Doubtless when you see me leave the store, shop, or restaurant shortly after you and your agents-of-chaos children arrive, you will think me a self-centered bitch, which in this case simply means a woman who does not care to witness to your rudeness and who is unwilling to be used as free daycare.

Oh, and by the way, next time I'm letting your kids wander into the restaurant kitchen.


Forward this ARTICLE to someone who needs to answer the CLUE PHONE


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