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"I Need A Girlfriend" - BLEAH!

By Maria K. W

I have had it up to here with "relationship"-dependent men(boys?) and energy suckers who do not feel complete if they don't "have a woman".

What especially makes me wanna blow chunks is the hurl-worthy national anthem line for these dweebs: "I see couples holding hands all the time, and I feel I deserve to have that joy, too. Why can't I have a girlfriend to hold hands with in public... it's not fair... yack yack yack" ...whatever. I most recently heard this lament from a man who is 35, a single parent of a 13 year old boy, and has a great job. He explained to me that he "needs" a girlfriend because he is tired of being "alone" in this world. He insists that someday I will feel the "need" for a significant other and will be tired of "sleeping alone". You see, I am 21, and therefore, in his opinion, not "mature" enough to feel the "need" (I really do hate that word) to love and care for somebody.

Good grief. No, I guess I am not "mature" enough to feel the "need" to be utterly dependent on someone else for my happiness.

BUT believe it or not, there are some under 21 who "need" somebody in their lives or they just can't function properly. Last month, I came across one of these "needy" people, and yikes, he was 20!

A friend of mine introduced me to "Jake", despite the fact that I informed my friend that I was militantly single, and had no interest in participating in a relationship. Before I even met this "Jake", my friend was singing his praises with things like, "Oh, he is so nice" and "he'll treat you like gold".

Well, later that day, a couple of my friends, Jake, and I went to see a movie. Jake was nice... nice enough to try and hold my hand, nice enough to try and put his arm around my waist... and even nice enough to make a lame attempt in getting a kiss from me that night. I talked to the imbecile and told him that I would like to get to know him, hang out for a while and see how things went. But...

A week later, Jake was in a commitment with another girl he had met after me...

And you know what the kicker is? She is a 19-year-old divorcee who is 6 months pregnant and has herpes!

I laughed my ass off when I later found out that Jake thought I was a "bitch" and "cold hearted" for not becoming giddy under his advances, or falling all over his "nice guy" image. Nobody could understand why I wouldn't want to date such a nice guy! YECH! Being desperate is a turnoff! If this guy "needs" a girlfriend so bad that he couldn't get to know a beautiful independent 21-year-old, and jumped into it with a 19-year-old floozy who has irreversible VD and a kid on the way, then why the fuck do you think I would want to BE NEAR his dumb ass?

Of course, nobody is saying shit about how desperate Jake is, or how gross he is because he's having (unprotected) sex with his new girlfriend... but I am "cold","frigid" or a bitch. Yeesh!

What's even more laughable is how people insist on applying their own lame, hackneyed "reasons" for why I am single:

  • "Your last boyfriend must have really fucked you over"
  • "You must be gay" or the latest;
  • "What is wrong with you? Everybody needs somebody!"

    Nothing is wrong with me! I have dignity, pride and self esteem. I love being single and the only thing I "need" is food, sleep and money. All of which I can acquire myself, thank-you. As long as I have me, I don't need some sappy, desperate little puppy-dog "nice guy". I love to sleep alone -masturbation is great when you're alone in the dark!!


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