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What's Wrong with Nice Guys?

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Heartless Bitches Welcomes
The Return of The Attitudinal Anal-Retentive Editrix from Hell

(Fear Her)

Before we treat you to Tavia's delights, we must first introduce you to the latest Dweeb, who comes to us, frothingly, (as usual), from the bowels of AOL. ("Bob, I'll take Door Number 1.")


From: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
To: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much

Are you people for real? I accidentally stumbled onto this page while trying to get intellectually stimulating material...instead I found what appears to be a group of seriously mentally flawed women with the resulting equivalence of intellectual toxic waste. It appears from your abrasive rants, that you are as insecure as the men and women you belittle. How else to explain an entire web page devoted to trashing the male sex and the women who love them? Is it a lack of physical beauty? Perhaps a horrible past experience with males? Or dare I say a weak sexual drive? I can only surmise there is indeed some underlying foundation for your hostility.

Yes, I have been described as brutally handsome, but this fact has not compromised my life or its work. In fact I sometimes feel embarassed of my looks. I have a PHD in psychology from Columbia and consider myself quite intelligent, thank-you. Your "himbo" rhetoric is lacking in thought and reaks of stereotypical feminist banter. This same logic, when applied to females of great beauty, is also flawed.

Instead of ranting and raving and behaving like spoiled children who dont get their way, you people need to exert yourselves in a more positive manner. Yes, bitch is an applicable name indeed....spend less time bitching and more time striving to improve conditions for the female sex would much further your cuase ( if their really is one).

Yours,
Dr. Paul Casey
P.S Please respond..I am curious as to what the feminist hordes of male bashers have to say toward a good looking intelligent male.


Natalie Responds Tersely.

Too tersely, in fact, to waste space with it here.


MonkeyBut makes a half-assed attempt at recovery, thinking he's safe... So I disabuse him of that notion.

From: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
To: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much

>Ok, you got me. Glad to see this wasnt some sort of
>broad male bashing conspiracy.

If I didn't have evidence that your IQ wasn't up to it, I'd almost think you made that incredibly bad pun intentionally....

>I can rest easier now.

Nah. You just THINK you can... You see, it's pretty clear that you are just a wet-behind-the-ears pup who THINKS he could masquerade as a Ph.D., (what a -pathetic- attempt at self-aggrandizement) but a) you can't even spell it correctly, b) Your grammar wouldn't get you past my highschool literature teacher (which says a great deal about the state of American education today), and c) you STILL don't know the difference between "there", "they're" and "their". Given that you have no ability to read beyond the superficial, (which neatly matches your personality), I'm sure you have a stunning career awaiting you in some suitable field such as selling cars, or working in the hospitality industry. You won't even have to SPELL "Would you like fries with that?"

You can, however, rest easy in the knowledge that women who identify as Heartless Bitches are quite happy to leave you to the vacuous women that occupy your wet dreams... (though we suspect that is as close as you'll get to them)

We'll just continue to laugh at you... if we bother to notice you at all.

heartlessly,
-Natalie


MonkeyNuts Gets his Shorts in a Knot

From: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
To: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much

Being grammatically correct in a quickly typed e-mailed memo is not a neccessity, dear. For christ sake, do you honestly believe Poe, Whitman, Hemingway, or Faulkner never committed a grammatical error? Thats why editors have jobs, putz.

As for resorting to juvenile put downs: I now see the purpose of your cute make believe organization is simply to piss off men everywhere with silly insults. Get a life you twisted dork! The sophmoric humor employed is so lame it makes wall watching seem like a fascinating hobby by contrast. I dont know if you truly hate men or not, but I suspect you havent had a good romp in the sack for lets say......ever?.....What self respecting guy would subject his penis to such torture anyway?.....Indeed. Masturbating with sandpaper would probably give more pleasure.

As for your "smarter than thou" attitude, I instantly saw a strange image while reading your message. It was the picture of a fat sow ,whose head had become so enlarged with internal pressure, that it blistered with protruding veins and large boils. Suddenly it explodes, and guess what? Nothing came out. Stick to remedial classes, sweetheart.

Yours most disrespectfully,
Paul


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