The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

Jerks are often the Lesser of Two Evils

by Momo aka Schadenfreudianslip

JERKS AND NICE GUYS™ ARE EXACTLY THE SAME! They're both manipulative pestilences who spawn from a putrid primordial soup of smegma, santorum, damp urinal cakes, pimple burstings, trichomoniasis and gonorrhea discharge, choleric diarrhea, and necrotized tissue, but at least Jerks are more straightforward (NOT honest) about it, and they don't whine and wallow in self pity nearly as much!

For example, a Nice Guy™ will make you think that you're in control by coercing, advising, and helping him along, but he'll really drag you from point A to B to C to D, then back to A, using excuses like, "My mommy doesn't love me, nobody's ever accepted me for who I am, I'll never find love, etc." He'll lead you into false hopes with promises of changes, but slips back into his old ways when he doesn't feel the need to be on his best behavior anymore (usually after makeup sex), and will guilt-trip you into eventually accepting him for who he is. A Jerk won't budge from Point A. He may or may not acknowledge his negative behavior, doesn't give a shit what you think, will not make compromises, and explicitly states that you're going to have to accept him for who he is.

See? The end results are exactly the same! While a nice guy will whine and make you dive in the mud to salvage his emotions and guilt-trip you into accepting him for who he is, a Jerk will get straight to the point, saving you time, guesswork and a perhaps even bit of dignity. Nice guys will spend two days in bed crying whenever you try to give them even the most tactful constructive criticism (guilt is a very effective shield), but Jerks show that a verbal kick in the nuts is nothing to get shattered over, aggravate us enough to unveil our true colors and make us want to argue back.

Note (NOT disclaimer): I wish that the line between Jerks and Nice Guys™ was so easily and clearly defined. I have based these comparisons on the extremes of the Nice Guy ™-Jerk continuum. All too many faulty men lie in the gray area of Emotional Manipulators. Many Nice Guys™ eventually become Jerks when they no longer feel the need to put on the facade of a sweet tortured victim (or are simply closet Jerks who are frustrated that their facades are not getting the desired results), and many Jerks can emulate Nice Guy™-esque emotions to manipulate women when they're in apology mode.

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartlessbitches.com) 2007, All Rights Reserved

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