Proud Day for One Bitch
(October 22, 2007)
Today, I got a raise. When the agency that manages my contract called to "congratulate" me on an extension, they caught me at a bad time. I was suffering from the effects of PMS (Pass My Shotgun), low-bloodsugar, sleep deprivation, the beginnings of a cold, a sore back, and an annoying co-worker who was hovering around my cubicle being a depressing, self-absorbed, whiney bigot with the intelligence of a stick. Not a good time for the wage pirates to call and "congratulate" me for my ability to continue funding their blood-sucking weasel business.
I asked, through clenched teeth, if there would be a raise in my pay this time around. When the inevitable "no" answer came (amidst some of the usual weasel words), I shouted "THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS". I then launched into a tirade that lasted about 5 minutes, included quotes from the Federal Labour Standards Review Board, the President of the Public Service Union, and a few juicy snippets of my own highlighting my view of them as the vultures of the employment world, circling over the laid off workers of this country: taking advantage of their desperation to get a foot in the door of potential employers with their poverty wages, lack of benefits, holidays, or sick leave, and general moral decrepitude. There was also some stuff in there about medieval attitudes.
She would have to speak to her manager, she said.
About two hours later, I got an email back saying I would get a $5.00/hour raise. Cool. Who'd have thought I could harness my BITCH (Be In Total Control Honey) powers for good? Live and learn