"RANTS" Archive

What's Wrong with Nice Guys?

The Manipulator Files
Heartless Bitches International
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Last update April 27, 2009

K8 has had enough of Entitlement-Minded Mommies (and their partners)

The 2009 Anti-Valentines BAD DATE Contest

Mike takes the piss out of a nutbar who thinks it's all the fault of those Nasty Feminists

RoadKillGerbil has had it with adults who never learned the basics of home hygiene in "You Too Can Learn to Lift a Dish Rag

Meredith is convinced we are living in The New Dark Ages

Ara reviews the Twilight series of books, and questions the pros and cons, in Reading VS Self-Esteem

Colleen knows why there is less sex after 60... and she says, Don't Blame The Women!

Sabre is Heartless at last...

Stephanie is sickened by The "IHate[myex]" phenomenon.

Nicole is disgusted by society's acceptance of Innumerate Women

Raquel questions, are you a "Girlfriend" or a "Carry-on?"

Deanna submits her own "Twenty Ways You Can Tell You're A Heartless Bitch" list.

Jessica's not about to join the Power-Walking Stroller-Pushing SAHM group

VJ is back and frothing about articles encouraging women to "Settle" for less than the really want in a partner

Karen let's us know she is fed up with the pressure to have a 24/7 libido in "No You Don't Make Me Horny, Baby"

Artemis says, Enough with the bridezillas!

Just because I'm fat...

An exerpt from "Lust in Translation", Pamela provides us with insights into cross-cultural adulterous behavior in Sleeping Around the World

Mary wants to know How the backlash got so very effective?

Nadia's tired of being your Token Human

Sarah's on a mission to expose Sneaky Sexists - she can spot 'em a mile away!

Fabulana vents her spleen about social idiocy in this year's V-DAY RANT

Kris like, hates Girls Who, Like, Always Like, Talk Like This

Lynda is "Out of My Gender Box"

Annika knows: Agile Thumbs a Plus, Testicles Not Required

Jessica is back with a rant about Bad Parenting

Ronald wants guys to Get Fixed, Boys!

Twisted Sister wants to know Why isnít Female Ejaculation taught in schools?

Jessica is sick of Women Who NEED Men

Karen has a message for inconsiderate parents: Get a Babysitter!

CK riffs a craigslist poster looking for an affair in One in Ten...

Deanna rants about Papal interference in reproductive rights in Fuck the Pope!

Korin knows That Branch Up Your Ass - It Isn't Attractive

Alicia has words for a Stalker Hypocrite who reeks of twisted male ego

ST tells us about a Proud Day for One Bitch

Kim attacks female jealousy in Don't Hate Me Because I am Beautiful

Jemima rants about Song Lyrics That Piss Me Off

Laurie firmly believes that Ignorant People Shouldn't Write Articles On Sexism

Mary knows that Stupid Men and Smart Women Don't Mix

Angela is pissed off with Fucking Double Standards - in this case, for male and female athletes.

Trish has had it with The Viagra Generation

Dr. Handle has an open Letter to Virulent Breeders

Jemima wants people to Keep Your Mitts Off My Mane!

Lynda has decided, No More Cosmo For Me!

Kaz wants to know... Did Somebody Steal Feminism? Or Did We Leave It Behind...?

VJ vents her spleen on Willful Stupidity

Anika is sick of Brain "Damaged" Women

VJ Park knows You're not a Bitch - You're an ASSHOLE

Alaina ponders the stigma of The "V" Word

Kelly asserts: Iím Not A Victim - Iím A Bystander of Stupidity

Jesse is convinced Men Do This To Themselves

M1sskaos is tired of getting pushy Marital Advice from the Divorced - (Oh, the Irony!)

Brutal Honesty - Jess thinks the world needs more of it.

Single Does Not Mean LESS - VJ is sickened by a culture that perceives Single Women as somehow "less" than married ones.

Why Are You Single? - Newsflash: Some Women are Single by choice!

Hands OFF! - A nice body isn't public property

Questions Best Left Unanswered - (or Better Yet, Unasked)

Trying to Grow Up: Why I'm Quitting "Chick Lit" - Mary Katherine has had enough

The only thing "automatic" about Althea is her ire over men who patronize her in Yes, I can Drive a Stick

Natalie and Fabulana dish on BAD SEX - a list of DON'Ts for the guys...

EK explains why it's NOT "Just a Piece of Paper"

As part of a Questionnaire for the Tyra Banks show, Mike provides a Testimonial on why he became a member of HBI

Women Stink... apparently.

Erika's letter to a Nauseating Couple

A Bitch-In-Training sends us a Thank-You

Olivia delivers a boot to the head to those who can't cope with womens' natural bodily functions in - Yes, I Bleed

On a lighter note, Marguerite has some Heartless Holiday survival Tips in "How the Internet saved (my) Christmas"

Instigatrix dissects a patronizing polemic in My Boot Belongs to Daddy

Thinking of getting a boob job? Barbera gives us a first hand account of her experience with Breast Augmentation - warning, the post-op photos are GRAPHIC.

Jayne's perspectives on Women, Men, and the Whole Damn Thing

Jessi has something to say about women who expect Double Standards

Oh, no! Say it isn't So! Not Designer Vaginas!

Greg Tamblyn gives us the The 2005 Whiny Victim Love Song Awards

Tavia comments on a recent request we received from a Reality TV Casting Agent

Marlene, the Queen of Mean, has just one thing to say to all those Celbrities on the campaign trail "Dear Celebrities: SHUT UP!"

What kind of Mother are you? Kelly, our Reluctant Stay-at-Home Mom gives you a chance to find out in, "I'll Get You My Pretty!"

So You Want My Support? - GreenTea has an open letter to a Well-To-Do Victim of Emotional Abuse

On the parenting front: I'm Down With OPK (Other People's Kids)

V-Day - why Tiana detests this hallmark holiday...

Does My Hair Look OK? - Violet-Fairy's take on the whole bikini-wax craze

Contemplations on a Comic Book Collection - M. has decided to leave her comic books to her Alma Mater...

How to be a Complete Jerk at the Grocery Store

How come Men are "Angry" But Women are "Unreasonable"?

You'll Never Get a Date with THAT Attitude! (God forbid!)

Feminism is Uncool? - Janet rants about willful ignorance and the pursuit of the superficial.

Girls Who Like to Ruck! - Women enjoy the scrum too....

Department Store Hell - School's out for summer - or is it?

A Burnt Newbie Speaks Up - Lessons learned from the BitchBoard's Reality-Check school.

Don't Call Me "Baby Doll" - Olivia's call to arms for Bitty Bitches of the world.

irkwerks has a few things to say about the rude attitude afforded Skinny Bitches

When your spouse is about to become your EX, you need Barbara's Heartless Bitches Guide to Divorce

What Do Women Want? - Mac Warren tells us what he thinks women want...

Jade pokes holes in the ASSumptions made by a Stay-at-Home Mom who took exception to HBI.

College "Ain't" For Everyone

I'll Get Married (or NOT) When I'm Damned Good and Ready to!

The 4 Words of the Pariah

Divorced Dad? Don't want all the heavy responsibilities of being a parent? Have we got the answer for you! Here's our step-by-step guide on "How To Create an Evil StepMother" - Someone to do the dirty work AND take the blame!

A new section at HBI: The Manipulator Files

A new section at HBI: What's Wrong with "Nice Guys"?!

The Evolution of Jane

Fabulana has fun with a rabid Journaler who took exception to The No Queen's OnWhine Journal rant. (see below)

M. suggests radical changes to the education system to more accurately reflect current societal values in A Brave New (IM)Modest Proposal.

Weenises - Kate takes another jab at the penis-size debate.

Melinda takes exception to Lori's Rant (see below), and The HBI Editorial staff have some comments on her commentary.

Nancy vents about Warped Role Models with Feminism and the Comic World

Lori lets us know she'll have no more of the Poorly Equipped Models

Misery is Expecting Company - (The No Queen has a few words to say about OnWHine Journals we can do without)

Not that we really give a shit about Valentine's day - but it rubs some people the wrong way, so we've compiled a list of Anti-Valentine's Day Links, because hey, we're Heartless Bitches, and it's the thing to do for Feb 14th.

HBI: The 13th Step

WildWoman does the Christina Show! - One of our favorite members does us proud on a Spanish talkshow.

K' has a few Heartless things to say about Women's Magazines

The Curious History of Mother's Day

Commentary from our own Fabulana on the fact that "The Rules" author, Ellen Fein, has filed for Divorce.

Powerful Choices - Lisa comments on Tabitha's "Motherhood" article (see below...)

Ripe for the Anti-Valentine's day picking, the most pretentious "Friendship" Drivel to show up in a form letter in a long time.

Motherhood - Tabitha questions the *real* reasons behind the cultural pressure to procreate.

Hairy Fishnuts? - Another candidate for the PsychWard, riffed by our favorite Anal-Retentive Editrix From Hell!

Friend just gone through a relationship breakup? Finding it too much trouble to be HONEST and CONSIDERATE? Why not get rid of that onerous burden with our handy WDS guide to How to Fuck Up a Friendship

From the Mail Room:
Annie writes in to tell us about the Heartless Bitches Influence
Vera knows: Life's (like) a bitch, hit her with your best shot...then run like hell!

If Only Hera Was In Charge... - the gods face the battle of the sexes...

NEW - The Goddess of Battle, Strife, and Destruction explains it all for you in our newest column: "I'M NOT BITTER"

Why I Date Heartless Bitches

I Am You - an exposť on the trend towards branding womens' emotions as illnesses.

How a "Feminist" Grows Up to be a "Heartless Bitch"

With tongue stuck firmly in cheek, Alex gives us Facts to Bitch About...

Ethan's Story - Serious stuff from the Mail bag.

The lamest pick from the mailbag - this one was just too good to keep all to ourselves.

The Girlfriend 9.0 FAQ

Things you should know about Boyfriend 9.0

"I Need A Girlfriend" - BLEAH!

Belinda serves 'em up rare, in VALENTINE'S DAY: "OH THE HORROR."

Terry tears into the weak-willed in A Major Rant From a Pro Trainer

In an attempt to provide MORE enlightenment to the confused members of the XY chromosome set, we have Some Things Men Should Know...

And to be fair, here's some education for the XX set: Things Women Should Never Say to a Naked Man

Sean Morey's The MAN Song (1.2MB download but WORTH it!)

Motherhood? Not for me, thanks...

The totally frivolous Heartless Bitch Personality Test

Seeking Technical Support for Boyfriend...

Lezzie Rant

How to be a Compleat Dweebus In 14 Emails or Less

"White Weddings" - Bleah!

Why "RedBook" made this bitch see RED

The Heartless Bitch Challenge - What does it take to NOT make an ass of yourself on the Members Only Discussion Board? Read the Bitch Challenge and see...

A scathing Critique of the MRI "GenderMap" project

Kevin's Dating Dictates to non-Heartless Bitches

Men and Candybars - finally the revealing truth

Julie's review of an article which praises the master of "Speed Seduction": All in favor of castration, say 'Aye'!

Why the "Special 5th Anniversary" issue of "Wired" can be substituted for Syrup of Ipecac

Female Parasites - Get a Life!

A Community of Bitches

Only Another Vapid, Vain Sciolist

What Makes "Women Click" and Julie Sick

Here's what Coggie thinks of Boobs for Boobs

What's it like at a New Age Convention?

Excuse me, may I borrow your Penis?


Political Correctness and BITCHING!

A (small) Lesson in Sexism

You know she's a REAL Engineer if...

Eric's Rant about Pity Parties

Presents? No, thanks!

What's Up with GirlGames?

Interview With an Asshole

Uncomplicated Sex - Just for the Fun of It

I Passed for Hotgirl: A Man Watches the Comers-on

The (Heartless) ABC's of Relationships

The Return of The Attitudinal Anal-Retentive Editrix from Hell

Having a hard time finding Ms. Right? Maybe this might help...

A Woman's Rules for Men (revised)

How to be a Good Wife, Then and Now

His Ego Writes Cheques His Personality Can't Cash

...Then read a man's perspective after watching Penn, LaRose, (The Code) and Ellen Fein (The Rules) on Oprah

Tasting Sexism From the Other Side of the Fence

Pithy Putdowns to Hurl at Pugnacious Pigs

A Man's perspective on "The Rules"

I Don't Need Your Affirmation

The Ideal Woman is a Heartless Bitch

"Guy-speak" - The Definitive Guide to Understanding RedNeck Males

A Bloated Buffoon Offers Advice

The Birth of a Heartless Bitch...

I'm Living Life on MY Terms - So Piss Off!

The (How NOT To be a) "Bad Lover" List

Male Puberty- A Rant

The Difference Between Whining and Bitching

Scarlett O'Hara was a Heartless Bitch?

Rules for being "One of the Guys"

Proof Positive That Girls Can be Morons Too!

Another Loser Letter Gets a Heartless Reply

The Dictionary of Dating

Losers Abound!
(apologies to RICHH for mimicking his critique-style)

Why I love Heartless Bitches

Lorena Who?
(or "Don't Get Even, Get ON")

What Happens When a Himbo Asks a Heartless Bitch for Sympathy?

Need that Penis Reattached?

Martyrdom is for Fools

Relationships - Nice Girls VS Heartless Bitches

Rejection Lines - Nice Girls VS Heartless Bitches

Stand On Your Own Two Feet, Baby!

Office Perspectives

A Heartless Rant about Whiney Generation-Xers

An Asshole's Feeble Foray into Honesty

A Girl's Guide to Condoms

Dogs VS Men - you decide which you prefer

Is it any wonder we are Heartless Bitches when we have to deal with dorks like this?

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