Tasting It From the Other Side
I can't begin to understand what women go through these days.
No matter the amount of thought I might give to the plight, I can never
fully comprehend the feelings and emotions, the situations and just plain
CRAP that is dished out. After all, I'm a man and can never experience
things exactly as a woman would. I can, however, offer my observations
and empathy. We now have our first female Secretary of State, yet,
for a woman to get anywhere in ANY organization it seems she must sweat
blood, work longer and harder, and put up with insufferable drivel from
"us." There is a bright side to this situation. After
walking the gauntlet, the end finds that you have become a strong, attentive
and better person. One that produces more efficiently and with better
quality than the average or less-than-average person.
We men (shamless pigs that we are) have our own social stigmas to overcome.
For a father to gain custody of his children he has to prove himself in
much the same way women do in a business environment. Or, we have
to drag our ex-spouse through the mud and try to discredit her has a human
being (I refuse to put ANY human being through that, much less the mother
of my children, no matter WHAT our differences may be). We must be
stable above all reproach, lead saintly lives and prove that in a court
of law. We must spend thousands of dollars and THEN we might have
a CHANCE to raise our children. Perhaps when this is over, I'll be
a better person for having seen it through to the end. Not many men
do. As a matter of fact, it seems many men shirk whatever responsibility
they can to rid themselves of the burden (according to the media, popular
opinion, etc.). But those of us who want a hand in our children's
lives seem to be labeled "the bad guys" simply because we want
to "take a mother's children from her." Never mind that
we might be the better parent, or provide for our children a more stable
atmosphere in which to grow. I got out of a bad relationship with
my ex-wife. I didn't want my children to suffer but, I was not prepared
to go through my life martyring myself for their sake. Now I am paying
the price. Not because I'm a bad parent. Not because I don't
love my children. Simply because "women make better caregivers"!
Do they? Are women better nurturers? Perhaps, perhaps not.
regardless, the decision is STILL based predominantly on sex, not on what
might be best for the children.
I made my decision. I stand by that decision. But the consequences
shouldn't be decided based on the fact that I was born with a penis!
Some states have come around, unfortunately, the state in which I was divorced
hasn't. No, I don't want your sympathy. Nor, am I a helpless
*victim*. Perhaps I'm no different than any other of the ignorant
buffoons this site seems to attract. But, in some sense, we do see
things from the same point of view.
Yes, sexism is alive and well on both fronts. But perhaps we
can see the beginning of the end of those attitudes here. I thank
you for your work, and I give you my humble submission for a membership
to the men's auxillary once it's completed.
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