What Do I think Women Want?
What do Women Want? If you pose the wrong
question you will always get the wrong answer. What most women (and
men!) want is what they are told to want. We all know the drill, the
social norms are imposed from above and most of humanity has no idea
they are being socialized to desire certain things in love or work or
life. Most people simply accept the status quo. A small percentage are
out ahead of the mass of the population. It is this forward-thinking
wave that demands something more advanced from life.
I believe that it is from this wave you get your HBs, and
thinking men who love the fact that they are among us. What do these
women want? The same damn thing we do. Only more so. Nothing more
nothing less. These sisters tell us this in a thousand different ways.
We have to listen, hear, and understand their concerns. I don't say
agree. Our level of agreement with them, will be shaped by the work we
have done to not only figure out what we want, but to reject what
we have been told we should want. If you ask the question "What
do women want?", you are talking about yourself - not women. You haven't
even gotten to the point where you recognize the fact all the "roles" we
have learned (traditional male and female) are reactionary and
Thinking women and men, gay or straight, reject role-playing first and
foremost. On the highest level of human existence (which is for me, at the
level of ideas) all things are equal - whether we embrace the concept or not.
Over the years I've seen men who just couldn't accept this. I was forced to
deal with this at a tender age of 19 years. I was serious about my
ideals. I listened to those that had ideals similar to mine and I
followed them. Many of these people were women. Some of them were very
radical feminists, and yes even lesbians, and they were ruthless with me. So I
had to deal with two demons at once: sexism and homophobia. I was like
these wild cats living behind my building, I loved them for feeding me
all this knowledge but I was always on the verge of running away in
fear. I didn't run away, I stayed, and learned and became the human being I am today
in great part as a result of the sometimes impatient work they did on
this poor ignorant young black male.
What thinking women want is what thinking men want -- positive
reinforcement from those they love. They want to be treated as human
beings, as capable as any man of leading in words and deeds in life, love
and struggle. That's the same thing I want. No more. No less.