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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of September 29, 2002
edited by



Name: Krisi

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't care anymore! I have been too soft hearted all me life and stepped on too many times. Now I am on top of the mountain and any man who gets in my way should be prepared to fall fast and hard.

[Because the Olden Rule is "Do unto others."]

My ex thought he would leave our daughter and I with nothing, HA! that's funny.

[Not when you consider the large amounts of nothing you shared, right?]

When I moved I took all the TV's

[There was a study that stated that IQ can be loosely correlated to the amount of televisions in the home.]

the washer and dryer (which I doubt he knew how to use anyway),

[You probably gut-punched him with the TV. I doubt, if what you say is true, that he'd miss the washer/dryer. The trailer will, though.]

the VCR & DVD player all movies included, except for his dirty stuff.

[At least you're not out for revenge. I'd have taken them, too.]

And if that wasn't enough I took the dishwaher (which is in the same area as the washer and dryer, untouched his male hands),

[This really sounds like a trailer set up. I can't imagine the washer/dryer being in the kitchen, which is where I hope that the dishwasher was.]

and the fridge, stove, and microwave, no cold beer or hot macaroni for him.

[My question is where you put it all and how you got it out of there.]

One Liner:
Clean your house? Clean your own damn house, cause I'm goin' out with your "boys" tonight!

[Goin' out with my BOYS? Get your own damned boys.]



Name: Ken

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm really, really, really tired

[Okaaaay.]

One Liner:
I don't have one. Sorry.

[So your plan was getting points for attendance?]



Name: Keisha

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am tired of the flaky, no good, foot fungus, "I have a girlfriend but I wanna date you too", the "hey at least I was honest" men that feel just because they were honest about being in a realtionship that voids them being complete ass holes.

[There's a lot to say about honesty. Personally, I appreciate the difference between a cheat and a LYING cheat.]

Tired of brains not being attractive and men that feel every woman should look like a Victoria's Secret model...cut the bull...life isn't like that!

[Life IS like that, which is why you mention it. By and large, intellect isn't considered attractive. What IS attractive is people who agree with us, which is why we tend to consider them "intelligent."]

Wah, wah wah! I am tired of the men that think women are incompetant and that we know absolutely nothing and all we are good for is a smile and a polite greeting.

[That's really its own punishment.]

I am also done with the men that can't take no for an answer and insist that you want them no matter how many times you tell them ot buzz off politely!

[Sometimes you need to make the switch from polite to firm to downright CLEAR.]

Shameful but true...I am just plain tired and now when I am out, I run as fast as I can from men! Shame but the irony is, I still have hope!

[I hate men...but I LOVE 'em.]

So now I have no tolerance for lateness, inconsiderateness, or anything little tiny minute thing that I find to be unacceptable! Hmm...

[How about concentrating on the BIG things: Honesty, integrity, personality?]

One Liner:
The crazy man bus went on a road trip and forgot to pick up and take back the crazy men and now they have infected the entire popultion-PLEASE bus driver, COME BACK AND GET THEM!

[It's too late! The whole population is infected now.]



Name: Michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I can not tolerate another mister perfect. If your hair doesn't fall out of place even once tonight I'm going to

[...ask you who does your hair?]

get you so shit faced that you won't even notice the clippers going through your hair.

[...because sometimes you want to destroy something beautiful. Get a grip, girl. Just stop dating pretty boys.]

One Liner:
I thought I had met the lowest form of scum last night, and then you come in tonight and create a whole new species.

[Ever think of changing where you hang out?]



Name: Sarah

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't need your card to tell me that I am, a true heartless bitch knows it and doesn't need a card, or a website to affirm it for her.

[It's a good thing, too. We're not into validation through others, anyway.]

One Liner:
Keep your own reality if you want, I prefer real life, it's too damn funny.

[Especially when other people provide the punch lines.]



Name: DeAnnAh

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well for starters, I caught my husband fucking my sister.

[Yikes. (Her profile is obviously false, but we'll play along.)]

So I divorced him. He didn't fuck me any more because i didn't shave my pussy.

[That was more than I needed to know...ever! Now I know that you have an AMbush, and your sister is either a pre-teen, or she has that cut that porn-stars get--the Charlie Chaplin.]

WELL FUCKKKK EXSUSE ME. Sorry that I don't want to remind you of a 12 year old. I'm a femme okie?

[Maybe he doesn't want to eat at a dirty Y. Have you seen the stuff that gets trapped in pubic hair?]

One Liner:
Don't not fuck me because my bush is hairier than your ass

[Well, it would HAVE to be, right? I mean, I'd really have to take a pass on any ass THAT hairy.]



Name: lisa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because..."

[This ought to be GOOD.]

I am taking my x-boyfriend/live-in to court for the tune of $5k he owes me in shared bills // of which

[So it was okay for him to owe you as long as you were fucking, right? Why'd you let the bills get so high?]

, I have written agreement, and , by which, he claims extremely extravagant living conditions , and , with which, he enjoyed a clean home

[That's extravagant.]

and california cuisine and sex for @4years.

[You can't contract for sex...well, maybe in Las Vegas. You WANTED to give him that, yes? You weren't selling it to him, right? Weren't you getting sex in return?]

Not to mention a lot of nice new clothes. (did I mention - said bills only include rent-food-utils)?

[So how do you have in writing that he owes you for the clothes you stupidly purchased for him?]

OH YEAH, did I mention he called me a "gash" in public very loudly and fairly unprevoked?

[FAIRLY unprovoked? Does that mean that you only called him a dick? Get over it.]

One Liner:
I drive a vintage mercedes, appreciate it by handwashing it , Pleaze. I don't mind if you don't work 9 to 5, but there better be a trustfund baby and the laundry bet-be done when I get home.

[Why don't you just sew a price tag on your clothes?]



Name: katie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I've known a certain guy for 3 years. he has cheated on me three times. not going all the way but close enough to where he deserved me being a Heartless Bitch to him.

["Cheat on me once, shame on you...er...well, I can't be cheated on again."]

and i was. Twice was with strippers.

[*Gasp*! STRIPPERS?! Oh, no, say it ain't so.]

Second time was a week before he came home from army training and i had been waiting for him for 6 months.

[You know who the fool is in THIS scenario.]

i told him he's lost me. even though i still love him which he doesn't quite know.

[Wanna bet? He's playing you like a fiddle, and he's calling the tune.]

i've got him tied around my finger trying to giveme reasons to stay such as proving that i can trust him and taking me out.

[That's called the "Honeymoon" period. After that, he'll switch to fucking (around with) strippers again. Get out of this toxic relationship, and get some help for your codependency.]

that's what he gets for being an asshole to a Heartless Bitch.

[If you WERE a Heartless Bitch, he'd be suffering without you.]

One Liner:
You know you have a right to be a Heartless Bitch when his mama tells you so.

[His mama? You're not running to tell his Mama that he's a bad boy, are you?]





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