Latest: May 26 2008

Previous "Issues":

May 19, 2008 Septmember 4, 2005 August 2, 2005
November 2, 2004
October 23, 2004
October 15, 2004
October 3, 2004
September 22, 2004
August 24, 2004
July 31, 2004
July 4, 2004
June 20, 2004
June 13, 2004
June 6, 2004
May 23, 2004
May 2, 2004
April 25, 2004
April 11, 2004
April 4, 2004
March 28, 2004
March 21, 2004
March 14, 2004
March 7, 2004
February 29, 2004
February 15, 2004
February 8, 2004
January 31, 2004
January 18, 2004
January 4, 2004
December 28, 2003
December 14, 2003
December 7, 2003
November 30, 2003
November 23, 2003
November 16, 2003
November 9, 2003
November 2, 2003
October 26, 2003
October 19, 2003
October 12, 2003
October 5, 2003
September 28, 2003
September 21, 2003
September 14, 2003
September 7, 2003
August 31, 2003
August 24, 2003
August 17, 2003
August 10, 2003
August 3, 2003
July 27, 2003
July 20, 2003
July 13, 2003
July 06, 2003
June 29, 2003
June 22, 2003
June 15, 2003
June 8, 2003
June 1, 2003
May 25, 2003
May 18, 2003
May 11, 2003
May 4, 2003
April 27, 2003
April 20, 2003
April 1, 2003
March 16, 2003
March 09, 2003
March 02, 2003
February 23, 2003
February 16, 2003
February 9, 2003
February 2, 2003
January 26, 2003
January 19, 2003
January 12, 2003
January 5, 2003
December 29, 2002
December 22, 2002
December 15, 2002
December 8, 2002
December 1, 2002
November 24, 2002
November 17, 2002
November 10, 2002
November 3, 2002
October 27, 2002
October 20, 2002
October 13, 2002
October 6, 2002
September 29, 2002
September 22, 2002
September 15, 2002
September 8, 2002
September 1, 2002
August 25, 2002
August 18, 2002
August 11, 2002
August 4, 2002
July 28, 2002
July 21, 2002
July 14, 2002
July 7, 2002
June 30, 2002
June 23, 2002
June 16, 2002
June 9, 2002
June 2, 2002
May 26, 2002
May 19, 2002
May 12, 2002
May 5, 2002
April 28, 2002
April 21, 2002
April 14, 2002
April 7, 2002
March 31, 2002
March 24, 2002
March 17, 2002
March 10, 2002
March 3, 2002
February 24, 2002
February 17, 2002
February 10, 2002
February 3, 2002
January 27, 2002
January 20, 2002
January 13, 2002
January 6, 2002
1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of October 26, 2003
edited by Jadesyren

Name: Michelle Perez (not my real name)

[Damn. I thought I was talking to Rosie Perez's little dumbass sister or something.]

Email : cummin@you.com

[I bet that's a fake.]

UserID : Yolanda

[Is this your real name?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
This site is fucking retarded. All it is is a bunch angry lezboes who've got nothing better to do than to insult people and hurt people's feelings.

[Did we hurt your widdo feewings?]

I hate sites like this. What makes you so special that people can't just join, they have to write a whole essay?

[It's our stupidity filter, and it needs to be cleaned often.]

I mean, come on. You all are always calling people stupid, but really, your not that bright yourselfs.

[I am crushed under your witty repartee.]

Get help or something. And put me up on your bull shit Weak of the week or whatever, as long as you know what i have to say.

[I must have slept through the content part.]

One Liner:
This site is for angry bitter people.

[Oh, we're not bitter....]



Name: Angela

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I wrote this today that I feel express why I feel i'm a Heartless Bitch.

[Oh, if there is anything I hate worse than stories, it's poetry.]

Because I am not afraid...

[But I am. AIGH!]

I'm not afraid to to say no
i'm not afraid to love myself for who I am
I'm not afraid to love others
I'm not afraid to be alone.

[Aaaaah, it doesn't rhyme, and it sucks too much for prose.]

I'm not afraid to keep my ideals
and i'm not afraid to change them
I'm not afraid to admit i'm wrong
I'm not afraid to learn and explore
I'm not afraid to express my mind
I'm not afraid to be ME!

I am not afraid.

[Move over, Sylvia Plath!]

One Liner:
Don't be afraid. Your going to die in the end anyways.

[Right after I kill this application.]



Name: Laura

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I cant freaking stand whiney assed women who stick with men who degrade them constantly. I have been divorced twice because my husbands were freaking spineless puppy dogs , who needed me to tell them to breathe. I believe women should be strong and independent and the only need we have for men is ........well you know. I also despise women who are have to have a man in thier lives to be happy . Nothing worse than going out with the girls and have half of them chase looser men around .

[I'll say. Some women act like they can't do without men.]

I say girl time is girl time. I also hate tacky pick up lines , the worst one was hey baby , I looked your picture up in the dictionary and the definition was KABLAM.

[How'd he look up a picture in the dictionary?]

I told this dude , that would not get him a date with me and I proceeded to dump my water on him ( we were at the gym).

[That explains the water. Why the detail?]

One Liner:
I want a man who can memorize and repeat the phrase " yes laura you are right you are always right" and " I am not your bitch so dont hang your shit on me"

[Yeah, I always hang my shit on a bitch and not a hook.]



Name: Chelsea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Sometimes I talk to much, everyone does...but it doesn't always get everyone in trouble.

[That's because some of us think BEFORE we open our mouths.]

Usually just me, when I tell a bouncer to fuck himself, or tell some girl that just stole the last pair of fendi sunglasses in my color to kill herself.

[Stole? STOLE, you little consumer? No, you were just too slow.]

I do things that get me in trouble too, but I usually just piss on the authority when they try to tell me what to do. I'm the Jesus Christ of my universe and I'll fuck up any Judas who tries to backstab, lie, or kill me, and believe me I have.

[Great...a princess with a God complex.]

I throw 140 degree lattes at Starbucks workers if they don't remember my pump of almond,

["...and a splash--just a SPLASH-of hazelnut, okay, orange extract, the extra foam in a separate cup. I have to spoon it on myself because y'all never get it right."

Let's look at this. I doubt that you'd actually THROW a cup of latte without racking up an assault charge, so "throw" here may really mean, "return" even if it's a bit forceful, and the foam splashes on the counter. You probably meekly remind them that you asked for an almond pump, holding up the already enormous line.]

and I go to strip clubs to show up the girls cause I obviously have more talent, brains, and

[Insecurity?]

tits than them.

[You can practically pick those up at the grocery store.]

In summation, when need be, I kick the asses of the weak, innocent, and stupid peons who don't know their asses from their ugly faces...all with a smile from ear to ear.

[That's like shooting fish in a barrel.]

One Liner:
It doesnt matter who gets ahead in this world first, because the one who does it with more balls, suave, and bigger tits

["What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms...just cause she's got big titties? Is it the way, he fights every day-ah? No, it's probably the titties."--DVDA]

is the one who will end up in the end with the guy, the job, the money, and most value. Everyone else will be bowing at their feet...and right now, i'm very valuable.

[It's probably the titties.]



Name: Sheila

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
An example of a typical day

[This sounds like it's going to be a story.]

1)Got up in morning ; shouted at my cleaner because he didnt knock on the door to come in ,

[You have a manservant, and that annoys you? LOCK the door.]

although he is 44 and i am 14 but will not take some perevet thinking hes equal to me because hes a PERVERT

[At least ONE of you IS thinking.]

2)Screamed at mother telling her i hate her because she wont buy me white bread because im becoming chubby ; my mother is obbesse

[Obese or obsessed?]

( as i clearly point out to her )I AM NOTFAT ""!! its as if she wants me to prepare myself for the world by looking good

[Poor you.]

3)Went to school had an argument with form teacher who only got hired because shes fit and blonde because i was a minute late to school

[When you're pretty, punctuality doesn't matter.]

4)Made a girl cry because i told her the truth about her maths result ; she called me a bitch

[What a small little superficial world you live in.]

5)Had another argument with this fat; flat assed Pakistani giant because she had the cheek to call me argumentitive for no reason ; IF THERE WAS NO REASON TO IT HOW COME I WIN THE ARGUMENT ?

[She should have called you an idiot when she was at it. Do you know what argumentative means? In your own story, not a single transaction has gone by without your arguing.]

6)came home finding another one of my friends having a boyfriend

[Having him for a snack?]

thats about 4pm ; i fall asleep at 11pm

[She slides back into her coffin.]

One Liner:
Dont even try to call me a bitch ; Yet ;
its the tip of the iceberg

[Boy, you don't get to read about any of this going on at Hogwarts.]









Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Home
What's New!
Bitchitorial
Search HBI
HBI FAQ
   HBI Stuff
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Movies
   Music
   Rants
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Pukefest
   Links
   I'M NOT BITTER...
   Auntie Dote
   Become a Member!
   Real Life Members
   Exemplary Members
   Weak of the Week
   BitchBoard
   MaleBag
   Unclassified Comments
   Contact Us
   Privacy Policy
   Awards
   HBI Sitings

---

Want to link to HBI?



  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)


Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site