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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of March 28, 2004
edited by Jadesyren

Name: John

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Yeah, I'm a 19 year old guy in college. I hate dumb sluts.

[No, you prefer a different KIND of dumb slut.]

I fucked this chick a few times over Christmas break and it turns out she was obsessed with me and I hurt her badly. The whole time we both agreed we were only having sex and nothing else. She was using sex to try and get close to me. She was so desperate it was pathetic. And now she claims I was using her and she was hurt very badly. This is one example of a dumb slut. A pathetic desperate woman who thinks sex will make men like her.

[This is the price you pay with casual sex. You just never really know about your partner. Certainly you don't expect me to agree with you about something this callous.]

I also hate guys who try to brag about their sexual endeavors. In my opinion the more you talk, the less you do it. It fucking pisses me off. This guy I know tried to brag and I just laughed in his face. He tells the same god damn story of the only time he ever got laid every fucking time he gets a little drunk. It is probably all made up anyways.

[At least you hope it is. Insecurity is really disgusting, isn't it?]

What else pisses me off? I pledge at a fraternity for awhile thinking it would be a fun place to spend my college years. It is a pathetic mess of fucking losers who rarely get laid. When they do,

[If that's true, you fit right in.]

its when they get women so drunk they are completely passed out or have no idea what is going on and then they fuck the drunk chicks. This really angers me that men resort to this bullshit. I have been in several fights over this issue and it never ceases to piss me off. People can't just be real.

[Everyone has their standards, I guess. You don't fuck dumb chicks, but the slightly crazy ones are your cup of tea, until they make you responsible for your own behavior.]

One Liner:
I fucking hate posers and dumb people.

[You mean poseurs.]



Name: Steve

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I fart anywhere, anytime, and I don't care how bad it stinks. I'm not going to cause damage to my body to make YOU more comfortable!

[Don't believe the hype. You're not going to combust or explode by holding a fart.]

Just deal with it. Oh, and I don't want to have to listen to you whine and complain about how you can't stand the smell. GO FUCK YOURSELF!

[I'll just bet you complain when we leave a bloody kotex on top of the trash pile, too.]

One Liner:
I'd rather be alone than with you're sorry ass.

[Ass. Fart. You've got a fixation, there, Steve.]



Name: Tiffany

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I just want to know something, and I figured that you guys respond faster to HBI applications,

[Your reward for trying to manipulate our system? A four-month wait.]

so I'm putting this here:
-Who started this site?

[Ask your mama. Seriously, the answer to all your pinheaded questions are already on the site.]

-Why did they start it?
-When was it started?

[Ever think about the copyright date? The answer to all your questions is 42.]

I looked on the site and didn't see the answers to my questions, so that's why I'm asking.

[Are you writing a book report? It's all on site, anyway.]

One Liner:
Thanks!

[Any time.]



From: JENNIFER

Subject: your freakin membership

hey ya'll..all the stuff i had to read before sending you this e mail did not scare me so....heres my comment/question...a few days ago i anxiously applied to become a member in heartless-bitches....i said what i had to say and......and....and......whats really goin' on?? how long does it take you guys to respond?? days? weeks?? years?? waiting suckz!! anyways just thought id say what i

[If you are accepted, you will hear from us. If you suck, you'll find yourself here. Otherwise you will NEVER, EVER get any feedback.]

had to say...again!!! so Supreme Bitch....whats up?? am i in or not??? just let a fellow bitch know whats really goin on!!! till then...later days and better lays...im out!! and thanx for hearing me out!!! i mean,it is your job right?? bye....

[No, it's my job to mock you in public.]







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