Name: Michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Email : lame_and_dull@telstra.com

[Weird place to stick fake email.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Echo. Echo. Echo.]

Because im a slut and every one hates me for it and think im easy!

[Something very strange is going on here.]

[You forgot to change your gender to female. Tough luck. And he took the time to answer all those questions, too.]

[How thoughtful. This applicant came complete with rejection.]

One Liner:
Fuck off you pimp

[Talking like that will only get you beat down again. You know how these pimps are.]

[They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. They also say that plagiarism is a crime.]

So a guy cant be aslut? What are yuo saying?

[The question is what YOU are saying.]

One Liner:
4 out of every 3 people have trouble with fractions.

[This may be the funniest thing I've read in an application this week.]

Name: Vanessa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was born a Heartless Bitch. I am a blonde, and a doctor.

[Were you born a doctor, too? How about blonde, were you born blonde, or was that acquired later in life?]

Somehow this is bewildering to people.

[It's not the blondeness. It's probably how ditzy you act.]

Maybe they think I'd be more satified with a bunch of kids and a rich hubby. I put myself through school amidst the "encouraging words" of teachers such as "Wouldn't you rather be a social worker/day care worker/nurse?

[You're a veritable hotbed of cliche.]

It will be so much easier to marry a rich man if you don't make more money than he does." What the hell's the matter with these women?

[Why hold grudges? You made it, right? Who cares?]

Whether you're a physicist or a bathroom attendant, stand up, suck it up and snap out of it! I was trained well, by my Bitch Mom : Get a good job - support yourself. You never know when you're gonna have to kick some man out.

[This doesn't sound much like the advice that trains a doctor, does it? What it really sets you up to do is survive, not succeed. She should be encouraging you to do well because you should do well, not because you may find yourself with a loser. I find it hard to believe this application.]

I respect my blue collar husb, who just laughs at his co-workers when they ask him if he "minds" that I make more money.

[Who are you, Patsy Cline?]

I rescue animals and protect children. I have compassion. But this does NOT make me the weak woman's sanctuary, counselor or confidant.

[And what do these ideas have to do with one another?]

One Liner:
Say you've been smacked down? Stand up, shake it off, suck it up and snap out of it sister!

[Doctor's orders. If I give you an apple, will you go away?]